Well, oxytocin, when it's present in our brain, it produces a sense of trust, rapport and bonding. Some of you are thinking, yeah, there are people in my world that I could use more trust with. Is there something you can do that creates connection and unlocks oxytocin inside the brain?
当催产素在我们的大脑中存在时，它会产生信任、融洽和联系的感觉。你们中的一些人可能会想，是的，在我的世界里，有些人我可以更多地信任。你能做些什么来建立联系并释放大脑中的催产素吗？
That absolutely is. What does she see? Anybody? What does she see? You can tell by her body language. What is it? She sees food. She sees lunch. When a mammal's senses possibility, Don'pe, the means released in our brains.
确实如此。她看到了什么？有人吗？她看到了什么？从她的肢体语言就能看出来。是什么呢？她看到了食物。她看到了午餐。当哺乳动物的感官被激活时，大脑中的机制就会被释放。
When dopamine is released, something powerful happens. Motivation, creativity, ingenuity, innovation, goal, orientation. If you know somebody who is unmotivated, the first place their therapist, therapist will look is their dopamine levels.
当多巴胺释放时，就会发生一些强大的事情。动机、创造力、独创性、创新、目标、方向。如果你认识一个没有动力的人，他们的治疗师首先会看的是他们的多巴胺水平。
Is there something you can do that's a benevolent brain hack that will release dopamine inside another person, absolutely helping them see a glimmer of possibility, of potential of opportunity. Mammals love to outdo each other.
有没有什么仁慈的脑部技术能帮助他人释放多巴胺，让他们看到一丝希望，发现潜在的机会。哺乳动物总是喜欢互相竞争。
It guarantees the survival of our species. We feel into intensely pleasurable when we make progress, when we have an achievement, when people value and respect us. Why do we feel so pleasurable? Because serotonin is flowing in our brain.
它保证了我们这个物种的生存。当我们取得进步，当我们有成就，当人们重视和尊重我们时，我们会感到非常愉悦。为什么我们会感到如此愉悦？因为血清素在我们的大脑中流动。
And when serotonin flows in our brain, we feel invincible. It unlocks a sense of agency, belief, confidence, self efficacy. Is there something you can do that can unlock that inside another person's brain absolutely is partnering with them for progress.
当血清素在我们的大脑中流动时，我们会感到无敌。它释放了一种自主感、信念、自信和自我效能。你是否可以做些什么来解锁另一个人大脑中的这种内在力量？这绝对是在与他们合作，共同进步。
Now anybody can connect on what matters most. Anyone can help someone see possibility. Anyone can partner for progress. Why don't we do it the surprising reason we don't do it. It's not because we're bored in their presence.
现在每个人都能在最重要的事情上建立联系。每个人都能帮助他人看到可能性。每个人都能携手共进。为什么我们不这样做呢？原因恰恰是我们没有这样做的惊人之处。这并不是因为我们觉得与他们相处很无聊。
It's not because we're tethered to our devices. We are but here's the big reason. You put yourself in other shoes and you're going. Aren't we supposed to do that? Let me tell you when you put yourself in someone else's shoes with all of your assumptions, your judgments, your conclusions, your beliefs.
这并不是因为我们被束缚在电子设备上。我们只是在这里，但关键原因在于：当你设身处地为他人着想时，你就会明白——我们不就应该这样做吗？让我告诉你，当你带着所有的假设、判断、结论和信念去理解别人时，这种换位思考的本质。
Here's how the narrative goes. If I were in your shoes, and what comes out next is your autobiographical fix for their situation. This happened to me powerfully several years ago. My third child, Tyler, was finishing up university in the East Coast.
故事是这样的。如果我是你，接下来的内容就是你对他们处境的自传式解读。几年前，这种事就强烈地发生在我身上。我的第三个孩子泰勒正在东海岸完成大学学业。
I was sitting seated in my dining room, and I got the phone call that every parent dreads now the story turns out well, but it was chilling in the moment he began to describe the situation. We're in the hospital.
当时我正坐在餐厅里，突然接到一个电话，现在每个父母都害怕接到这样的电话，但当他开始描述情况时，我感到一阵寒意。我们在医院里。
We're going to make it through, but it's been tough, and he did describe the vehicle. And I'll only keep the slide on for a moment, but the vehicle had rolled several times. When it landed it caught on fire.
我们会挺过来的，不过这段时间确实很艰难，而且他确实描述了那辆车的情况。我只保留这张幻灯片片刻，但那辆车已经翻滚了好几次。它着陆时起火了。
Four of them had been able to get out of the vehicle, but his best friend Hawley had been stuck in the front seat and the door was jammed. She was able to extricate herself from the vehicle. They grabbed hold of her and they got far enough away that when the vehicle blew up, none of them lost their lives.
其中四人成功从车内脱身，但他的挚友霍利被困在前排座椅上，车门卡死。她设法从车内脱身。众人抓住她，将她转移到足够远的地方，当汽车爆炸时，他们全都安然无恙。
I sat there with unbelievable gratitude on that day that my son Tyler and his four friends had lived through this. We all know it doesn't always happen that way. I'd better move it to the next slide. There's my son Tyler.
那天，我坐在那里，怀着难以置信的感激之情，看着我的儿子泰勒和他的四个朋友经历了这一切。我们都知道，事情并不总是这样的。我最好把它移到下一张幻灯片上。这是我的儿子泰勒。
The next night I was out with a friend who knows Tyler very well, and I simply told him the story of what happened to Tytus. You wouldn't believe what happened to Ty. I told him. No sooner had I finished and he said, well, you won't believe what happened to me in Chicago last weekend.
第二天晚上，我和一个非常了解泰勒的朋友出去玩，我简单地告诉他泰特斯发生的事。你不会相信泰发生了什么事。我告诉他。话音刚落，他就说，好吧，你不会相信上周末我在芝加哥发生的事。
I was slack jawed because I had put something out there that was so important to me, and it was summarily dismissed. And he told his story because I loved my friend and I want to invest in him. I phoned him up the next day and said, could we go out for coffee?
我目瞪口呆，因为我提出了一件对我很重要的事情，结果却被草率地驳回了。他讲述了自己的故事，因为我爱我的朋友，我想投资他。第二天我就打电话给他，说我们可以出去喝杯咖啡吗？
We went out for coffee. I said, do you remember? I told you the story about Tyler? He said, oh, yeah. I said, do you remember how you responded? He said, not really. I said, well here's what you said, he said.
我们出去喝咖啡。我说，你还记得吗？我跟你讲过泰勒的事吗？他说，哦，记得。我说，你还记得你是怎么回答的吗？他说，不记得了。我说，那你说的是什么，他说。
Did I actually say that I can't believe that when I drilled down into what he was trying to achieve, what do you think it was? Because it wasn't one upmanship what it was was. I want a sense of rapport and connection.
我是不是真的说过，当我深入探究他想要达成的目标时，你认为那是什么？因为那不是一种虚荣心作祟，而是。我想要的是建立一种默契和联系。
I want to show you that I understand your Tyler story by sharing mine. He put himself in my shoes and he heard enough to respond. That was thanksgiving several years ago. Tyler came home that christmas and you can imagine what that was like.
我想通过分享我的故事来向你们展示我理解泰勒的故事。他设身处地为我着想，听到了足够多的信息来做出回应。那是几年前的感恩节。泰勒在那个圣诞节回家了，你可以想象那是什么感觉。
After christmas, I was out with another friend who knows Tyler well and I mentioned what had happened to Tyler. No sooner had I finished and he said, what was it like the first time you saw him again? I said.
圣诞节后，我和另一个很了解泰勒的朋友出去玩，我向他讲述了泰勒的遭遇。话音刚落，他就问：‘你第一次见到他是什么感觉？’我说。
I was in my basement. I heard him come through the front door. I came running up. I grabbed hold of Tyler and I hugged him. And I hugged him. I didn't want to let goaks. Is the first time I saw him since the accident.
当时我在地下室，听到他从前门进来。我跑过去一把抓住泰勒，紧紧地搂住他。我就是不想放开他。这是我自事故发生以来第一次见到他。
My friend invested five seconds. What was it like the first time you saw him again? What happened was another whole layer of what matters most. Came out of a father who almost lost his son. My energy level after the first conversation was through the floor.
我的朋友只用了五秒钟。你第一次再次见到他时是什么感觉？这又是一层关于最重要的事情的深层含义。他是一位几乎失去儿子的父亲。第一次谈话后，我的精力水平低到了极点。
My energy level after the second conversation was through the roof. People rarely leave your presence neutral. They will leave your presence engaged or depleted.
第二次谈话后，我的精力水平达到了顶点。人们很少会离开你的身边而保持中立。他们会离开你的身边时，要么充满活力，要么精疲力竭。